Recent conversations on this site and a nice email I received from a reader got me thinking about respect.
Sometimes you have to wonder to what extent people consider respect for others and others' property at a time when so many people are so focused on themselves. It is easy to remember the people who are so self-centered that they don't consider those around them. These are the ones who cut in line, pull out in-front of you, don't say excuse me, talk on their phone at inappropriate times and are outright rude in their quest to take care of themselves.
And then you step back and consider how many times people do make an effort to be nice, say hi, hold a door, wave you through, say excuse me, thank you, you're welcome, and I'd guess there are more people respectful than not, but the ones we remember more clearly and longer are the ones who are disrespectful.
As adults we model behavior for our kids and often they come around to exhibiting the same, but sometimes they don't. Beyond being a good example, though, parents need to also teach respect.
I try to respect others, their property, opinions, and being. I try to teach my kids the same. Living in the borough I've seen many instances that I would classify as disrespectful, or at the least lacking respect. I sometimes wonder to what extent is it intentional and to what extent do people simply not know any better.
As a kid I played in the street all the time. We lived in a three street neighborhood of about 20 homes or so. There was no through traffic. We played kickball every day in the summer and used chalk to make the bases. We got out of the way as fast as we could when someone yelled "car!"
Today, living in the borough, I don't think you'd find too many streets where a parent would be comfortable letting their kid play in. Yet (as I've noted before) I see kids using intersections to ride skateboards all the time and when a car approaches they take as much time as possible to get out of the way.
In this instance, I think they know better and are intentionally being disrespectful. And moreover, I think these kids do it for fun to see how upset the driver will get, but I digress.
Many kids like to cut through my neighbors' property. Each day I see some at all times of the day. They don't think twice about doing it. I've even seen kids ride their bike through the two yards. They are between about 4th grade and HS, so they should know better. In this case I'm thinking some do and some genuinely were never taught it wasn't right.
These same kids walk down the middle of the street instead of using a sidewalk. Most times they will slowly get out of the way when a car comes, but there is really no urgency in their doing so.
Again, I'm not sure how much is being disrespectful and how much is simply not knowing any better. Either way it comes back to their parents.
I'm sure at some point my kids when they are older are going to screw up. They will do something (hopefully not too often) that will make me question where I went wrong. And I'll remind myself that they are kids and kids make mistakes and that is how they learn. The key to this is to make sure they know they've made a mistake, because if they don't they are going to keep doing it and others will follow their behavior.
While I went on this morning, I guess I did because I find it so hard to believe that having respect is so hard for some individual's to exhibit and I wonder how you get it back once it is gone, assuming of course you had it in the first place.
Your thoughts?